Career first dammit!

One of the people I regularly follow on Twitter is a lady called Lisa Britton. This Woman is just so damn positive it provides a shimmering beam of light into the usual drudgery of narcissism that is so common to be found on there

She recently tweeted that she had more than a few female friends who are now stumbling into their late 30's and are looking at the rather daunting milestone of hitting 40. Now for a single man, I remember hitting 40 a decade ago, it never really had much impact on me other than a big reminder that we do in fact all get older.

Yet for single, childless Women it can be a massive slap in the face and a stark reminder that their biological clocks are about to call time on their ability to naturally conceive a child. Now many women, I'm sure, couldn't care less, but there still appears to be a sizable amount of women that do care and they care deeply. A lot of Lisa's friends care anyway.

But! There is always a brighter way to look at things. 

Men (well most decent men anyway) are actually pretty simple creatures. In spite of what the popular mainstream opinion might tell you. We are not all sex crazed maniacs only interested in women who look fabulous and have the vitality and vigour of youth on their side.

Don't misunderstand me, men (and probably most women too) can appreciate young physically attractive people. Maybe it's just a blokish thing, but I can fully admire the breath-taking beauty of the latest 21 year old Instagram model complete with gravity defying breasts and flawless skin (complete with tons of filters) But she wouldn't be someone I would ever want to date. Believe me when I say she wouldn't want to date me either, but that's not the point I'm making. Middle aged men more often than not will have a similar outlook/wants/needs to a middle aged Woman.

Incredible I know. 

Now I cant speak for all Men on the planet, but I am a man. So, let me offer some (almost) pearls of wisdom spilling out of my comprehensively school educated brain.

Check out your friend zone, or better still, check out your "friends" friend zone

Make the first move! I can't stress this enough. Don't just wait for men to happen along. If you see someone you like find out if they're single and ask them out. Trust me, any decent man would be thrilled to be asked out! You might think you may appear desperate, men won't see that way though

Men aren't that interested in your bank accounts. As long as you are financially doing ok, then we're happy

Men aren't initially interested in how much of a successful career you have. If it's important to you, they will quickly pick up on that and more than likely become your proudest champion. 

If you would like to have children don't be afraid to mention it. Maybe not on the first date, but you may be pleasantly surprised with a positive reaction (especially if you're the one who actively chose him)

Learn to use dating sites properly. Don't wait for the men to flock around you, go out and pick the man you want, back it up with a decent profile full of things you like to do and your interests. Just don't go for the generic profile stuff such as "I like to go on walks/I like snuggling up and watching a good film" Tailor it specific  to your wants/needs. 

"I love the idea of fostering loads of children with a good man and raising our own little fractured nuclear family together"

or

"While my biological clock is on the verge of tapping out, the idea of raising a child/children with a decent fella is something I find very appealing"

OK, that might scare a lot of men off, but! If you don't ask, you don't get. many men might read that and think "hmmmm, well we're both financially stable, that doesn't seem like a bad idea to me at all"

It might not be a great idea to mention you're a feminist if you are one. I don't know about other men, but that would be a massive red flag to me. They won't see a feminist, they will see a Feminazi!

Don't be afraid to date down. While your University education is something you're immensely proud of and you can kickass in the boardroom. There's plenty of men out there who went to the school of hard knocks and that's an education to rival any University's indoctrination program.

Time may be running out on your biological clock, but you still have half your life left to live. You could still enter your golden years wondering what to get the grandkids for Christmas. You just have to know what you want and go out and seize it with the same ambition that gave you the career you worked so hard for.

It may be the biggest career challenge you've ever faced.

I wish you well